Parenting Discipline

Parenting Discipline
A term I often use that is just as often misunderstood is "Parenting Discipline" .
I figured it was time to define this as I mean it.
When I say "Parenting Discipline" I'm not talking about disciplining your children. I'm talking about disciplining yourself. Why do you need disciplining? Well, let's start with what the word "discipline" actually means.  For that, we'll go to my favorite online dictionary: Dictionary.com:

dis·ci·pline

 [dis-uh-plin]  Show IPA noun, verb,-plined,-plin·ing.
–noun

1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.

2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.

3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.

4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.

5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.

6. a set or system of rules and regulations.

Okay so now we'll put this into context with our topic:

1. Training to act in accordance with the rules:

Whose rules? YOUR rules. But why do you need training to act in accordance with your own rules?

Have you ever seen a mother trying desperately to get her child to agree to put a toy back on the shelf? How often does the parent win this battle? What is wrong with this scene?

The parent is failing to act in accordance with her own rules! It is the parent's place to decide which items are purchased in a store and thus, the parent should have her own rules for deciding what is bought and what is not. So when the child demands an item that the parent does not agree to purchase, the parent must act in accordance with her own rules and stick to her own reasoning.

The alternative? Bending to the will of the child.

This is unacceptable behavior from a parent because it leads to constant behavioral distortions as the child begins to wrest power from the adult. Now the child, who needs your guidance and discipline of her own, has taken the wheel and will quickly drive the family into chaos. If you do not discipline yourself to stick to your own rules and your own decisions, you are not properly training your child; you're letting her train you.

2. Activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill:

So how do you train to be a good parent? That depends on how hard you find it to stick to your guns in the first place. Do you have trouble when your little one gives you a sweet face and puppy eyes? Then you need to train yourself to hold to your own rules better. How can you do this? For one, you can agree with your spouse to help each other remember to hold to your rules. If you're a single parent, I understand this isn't an option, but being a single parent is tough any way you look at it. You just have to keep on telling yourself absolutely that the better you hold to your virtues, the better your child's life will be in the end, even if it's not easy to keep it up right now. Honestly? Meditation helps improve your willpower and concentration. It also helps with the cycle of Healthy Parenting: Patience, Acceptance and Harmony. So if you find that you have trouble holding to your own rules, try training yourself to be more willful and assertive. I recommend meditation and Yoga or T'ai Chi.

3. Punishment inflicted by way of correction and training:

In truth, punishment was never an original definition for discipline. We arrived at this meaning of the word through social usage of the word which comes from a Latin root discipulus, which means "student or pupil" and which relates quite directly to "learning". Over time, the meaning of the word has morphed through use in our society, coming to mean training and a quality of character in which a person has been well-trained, and finally to mean "punishment" which bares no resemblance to the original meaning of the word. It is important when we think of discipline that we remember the original meaning of the word and do not assign merit to punishment which is beyond that which is due. We have all heard phrases of ancient wisdom which instruct us regarding "discipline" and our children... but have we taken those words of wisdom completely incorrectly, defining "discipline" as punishment rather than guidance?

4. The rigor or training effect of experience, adversity:

This is closer to our meaning when we consider that discipline means "guidance, teaching, learning" and not "punishment". So what does this say about us as parents? Experience and adversity lead us to being properly trained. That is, experience and adversity will guide us to being better parents. Well that makes sense, doesn't it? In time, we will all get better at what we're doing, but only if we're headed in the right direction to begin with!

5. Behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control:

So good parenting discipline means you have taught yourself to behave in accord with your own rules of conduct. You have learned to maintain this behavior and order by training and control.

6. A set or system of rules and regulations:

Every parent needs one. This does not mean you have to have it all figured out ahead of time. If you do, I can only say, "Wow!". What this means is that you need to set up systems for yourself as the need arises so that you have a framework of behavior to fall into when times get tough. This is very much what I was doing when I set up defined parameters for my little one's nutrition before birth. This system adapted over time as she grew, but I always held to the system when I had to make a tough choice and wanted to make sure I didn't buckle under the pressure and hurt her in the long run by doing so! The first time we went to the store and she begged for a toy, we realized it was time to make a system for handling toy purchases so we could react properly every time. We didn't have that one figured out ahead of time, so we dealt with it as best as we could that one time, then discussed it and decided how to handle future actions. This will be a system of systems. In the end you will adapt it over and over again as new needs arise. And that is just fine.

Disciplining yourself (Remember: Guiding, or teaching yourself!) on how to handle these affairs will make for smoother sailing in the long run.

Parenting Discipline is fundamental to healthy parenting!

So when I talk about parenting discipline, remember that I'm not talking about how you handle your children, but rather, how you handle yourself!

Good luck!

Arsh

Now Presenting the Amazing Coconut Oil!

        Let's talk today about Coconut Oil!                   

Wait! Don't leave... seriously you're going to wanna hear this.

Coconut oil is a really useful thing to keep in your cabinet. You can find it at the grocery store (even Wal-mart) in the oil section. It comes in a plastic jar usually, more like Crisco. (I had a hard time finding it the first time, so now you know what to look for.)

Coconut oil is FANTASTIC! It is a) good for your health in a huge number of ways b) better for your diet than other oils and c) tasty! on top of which it gives you ENERGY!

So let's explore the benefits of Coconut Oil.

• Coconut oil is high in saturated fat. Wait what? That's right! But these are not bad saturated fats like the ones that cause heart problems. These are medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) whih are medium-chain fatty acids (MCFA). The saturated fats you want to avoid are LCFAs or long-chain fatty acids. 

• So why do you care about all these letters? Because MCFAs actually lower the risk of heart disease AND atherosclerosis and there's not many foods that contain significant amounts of MCFA! But one that does contain significant amounts of MCFAs is... Coconut oil! (Palm Kernel oils are another great source!)

• Additionally, Coconut oil is a good source of natural fiber, vitamines and nutrients. 

But why would the medical industry not TELL us this?

OMG! Realization time: The medical industry isn't here to help you. 

They are here for ONE reason: $$$

If you don't believe that... go read up on www.cancure.org and realize there is an active WORKING CURE for cancer that has been around for decades that the medical industry in this country PUSHED OUT and got banned because it was not an expensive enough procedure. In fact, the people who developed this cure with an 80% working cure rate, lost their lisences. They are now working from a facility just south of the border in Mexico. 

But back from that...

COCONUT OIL!

What can it do for you?

• It is great for your digestive system, aiding in absorption of fat soluble vitamins, minerals and amino acids (which means preventing various stomach and digestion related problems such as IBS.). It also reduces the symptoms of diabetes and can reduce your risk of developing diabetes. On top of that, it has antimicrobial power that helps dealing with bacteria, fungi and parasites that cause indigestion. Coconut oil is high in anti-oxidants which help protect the body from free radicals and prevent degenerative diseases and premature aging. It is GREAT for your heart, containing about 50% lauric acid which prevents various heart related problems such as high LDL cholesterol levels (the kind you want to avoid) and high blood pressure.

• Coconut oil is also anti-fungal, anti-viral, and anti-bacterial. It kills viruses that have a lipid (fatty) coating such as herpes, HIV, hepatitis C, influenza and mononucleosis. It's not a cure for these things, but helps prevent and fight against them. 

• On top of all of that Coconut oil BOOSTS YOUR ENERGY!                                                  Forget Monsters and Coffee! Coconut oil boosts your energy levels NATURALLY while increasing your endurance. This is because your body does not store the energy from coconut oil like other fats. Instead, it actually breaks down much quicker inside the liver and is used like a carbohydrate, burning up for energy quickly! It also increases your metabolism which helps with weight loss! 

Now that we've talked about the great ways you can ingest Coconut Oil, Let's also see how it feels on the outside. :3

• Coconut oil is GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN!                                                                                  Rub it on in place of a massage oil and enjoy the best moisturizing effect. Use it in place of a moisurizer or lotion. It is similar to mineral oil only it does not have any chance of having adverse side effects on your skin. Coconut oil can help treate psoriasis, dermatitis, eczema and other skin problems. (Ever seen coconut oil soap? Think about it!)

• Here's a neat tip you won't find on most blogs: Coconut oil is THE BEST when it comes to sexual lubricant. I kid you not! Don't freak out! It is SO good for your skin and it is the best feeling lubricant you'll ever try. It feels so much more natural than any store-bought lube and it works better and doesn't dry out quickly. (In fact, it takes a really long time for it to dry out!) It is totally safe to use down there and in fact, most women who use it report a decrease in yeast infections!                          I will be completely honest and say I normally have a lot of trouble with sex in that ever since I gave birth I have had like ZERO natural lubricant which really sucks when you want to get it on... Normal lubricants dry out pretty quick and really don't help that much. I started using coconut oil recently and it has been the BEST sexual lubricant ever! It stays comfy the whole time and I don't even have to reapply it between go's :3 That's how awesome it is. Seriously. 

• Coconut oil helps in removing stress! A forehead massage with your fingertips dipped in coconut oil will help remove mental fatigue!

• Because of its anti-inflammatory effect, coconut oil is great for sore muscles, strains and bruises! Rub some in to speed the healing effects!

• Your hair would love you for trying coconut oil in place of your conditioner! Coconut oil has some of the best natural nutrients your hair needs. It promotes healthy hair providing a shiney complexion. Regularly massaging your head with coconut oil will help relieve dandruf, lice, and lice eggs, even if your scalp is dry. It acts as an excellent shampoo and conditioner and helps regrowth of damaged hair. It also provides the essential proteins required for nourishing damaged hair. Through out those V05 Hot Oil treatments and just rub some coconut oil through your hair and toss it up in a towel. 

• If all that wasn't good enough, coconut oil can bring relief to some bug bites due to its anti-inflamatory qualities and healing factors. 

• It even works as a mosquito repellant! Just eating it or using it as a shampoo or face cream will ward off annoying insects!

So considering that half your body likes the idea of coconut oil... why are you still reading this? Go get yourself a jar of it and try some of this out! You will LOVE the taste in place of butter on toast (just scrape a tiny amount over your toast instead of butter before putting it in the toaster or afterward if you like your toast crispier) or especially if you like fried eggs. (Just put a little coconut oil in the skillet and melt it then pour your eggs in like you would with melted butter. Its SO good for fried eggs.)

My favorite recipe with coconut oil is cheesey egg toast. :3

Just make toast, cook egg whites in coconut oil (fry them) and then put the eggs on top of the toast, top it with a slice of cheese and set the toast back in the skillet for a moment to melt the cheese and let the toast absorb some of the remaining coconut oil. (You don't want enough left in the pan to make the bread soggy, just a fine coating.) It's SO GOOD and gives you TONS of energy for breakfast! :3

I have found that coconut oil works as a natural laxative (fast acting! Seriously!). If you REALLY need to go, down a tabelspoon of coconut oil. Wait a few minutes. c_c

I hope you give it a try! You'll love it on your skin and in your food. :3

Arsh