Stress, Stress, Stress, Stress...

I'm crying again. I can't stop crying because I'm so stressed. I cry at random intervals, sudden outbursts of pure panic and emotional release.

Why am I so stressed... I go to school part time, take care of a family and enjoy a lot of fun time.
I don't have so much more than most people. Is my coping really that bad?
I mean... I do have PTSD. So that probably worsens my ability to cope. But I don't accept that I'm just pathetic at coping with stress.
Maybe I expect too much from myself.
Maybe other people want too much from me.
Maybe I should just let go.

I wish I could just... take a real vacation. I mean... a true retreat. Get away from EVERYTHING for ... a couple of weeks to a month. Spend a month in a cabin in the mountains or off in the country.

Not even like... away from my family. Just ... away from my normal life. My normal routine. My normal work. My normal stressors.

I guess that's what people used to do when they were feeling this unwell. But now... it's not so simple. Going to a nice house somewhere far away isn't as simple as that. I don't have money to provide such experiences.

Planning and preparing for such a thing would be a stressor by itself.

My panic and stress responses are slowly becoming clear to me.

• I become manic and scattered. 
• My attention span goes out the window.
• I become irritable and easily agitated.
• I panic easily.
• I get angry at what frustrates me or demands of me.
• I lash out when I feel something or someone is forcing me closer to stressors.
• I don't sleep properly at all.
• I get achey.
• My head aches.
• My heart rate increases, breathing becomes poor.
• I go between increased appetite and incredible lack of one.
• My focus shatters. Concentration and retention are crap. 
• Feelings of being lost or not knowing what to do.
• Depression from mild lethargy to utter hopelessness.
• Alternately, Fight or flight responses: Tingly extremities, restlessness, faster breathing, less appetite.
• Being unable to sit still.
• Light-headedness.
• Increased fear.
• Fatigue

Well you get the picture.

I feel so alone and lost.

What do I do...

Stress relief ideas I've read about in the past few hours include:

• Breathe deeper, better
• Meditate daily
• More Exercise
• Candles, aroma therapy
• More Sunlight
• Work in 1.5-2 hour blocks, break at least 15 minutes between. Oscillate rather than dividing the day into large bits.
• Perhaps up my 5-HTP to twice daily
• Engage in novelty experiences. An article from wholeliving.com states:
  "Your brain craves novelty, so switch to different tasks as your energy levels ebb and flow. "I call it one-, two-, and three-level thinking," says David Rock, author of "Your Brain at Work." "Level one is the surface stuff (deleting emails, for instance). Level two requires a little more focus. But level three, the deeper thinking, is what we need more of. It involves writing, creating, planning, and strategizing."
  
  You can do your best level-three thinking first thing in the morning or when you're fresh from a break. Bar distractions as much as possible. Even just 30 interruption-free minutes, Rock says, can make you much more productive."
• Observe something funny when feeling down and move back to work afterward.
• Take time to have no agenda. Do something with no goal. Just relax, enjoy and don't worry about the outcome or what you need to get done.
• Try to reduce all stress within 3 hours of bed including caffeine intake and get a good night's rest.
• Take care of yourself first. Too much energy out and not enough inward creates only emptiness and hunger.
• Create limits in order to feel free within them.
• Negative thoughts have to go... 
• More music. Music makes me feel better.
• Being lonely does not. Monophobia sucks so very much.
• Stepping outside once in a while might not kill me. Door open at least.

I don't even know why I started writing this. I just needed something to talk to I guess. Maybe it will help me remember.

Irony

I typed "Zen" into a Google search earlier.

Define Irony: Searching the Internet for Zen.

I think there's a proverb somewhere about that which can not be found within... heh.

I don't know how to fix my stress levels lately. Last Fall really did a number on me. Maybe life has already stressed me so much that something as intense as that Perspective class and a straight determination not to procrastinate is beyond me at this point. I don't know, honestly. All I know is that I want to be able to relax and enjoy my life without constant worry, frustration, and fear. Fear is a big problem for me. Fear is the mind-killer. No wonder I can't think straight so often. I fear much. Losing my family. Losing friends. Being disliked, unloved, unwanted. Having no financial security. Having no health care. Having little hope of any of that changing any time in the foreseeable future. Sometimes I see movies where people are dirt poor and I feel better because at least we're not on the streets. But I know I wan more than this. I want to be able to experience this world. I want to be able to travel. I want to really live.

I constantly wish for things that I just can't have. Most of them are not material.

But what I need is to be able to be at peace. Fear and worry and panic aside. Adrenaline has been too much for me lately. Even video games are stressing rather than relaxing. So what can I do?

My Own Picasso

I have a funny, fun, awesome story to share about my little one today.

So, yesterday we made a trip to Wal-mart. I was over in the craft section grabbing up their clearanced stuff since they're rearranging the store right now and putting just about anything on clearance in order to make more room. I found a lot of good things: $1 rolls of ribbon, $6 Glue Gun, $3 bolts of cloth for my next project... Lots of good stuff. I was really happy with it.

Anyway, while I was in the neighborhood I noticed the acrylics were only $1 each as well. So I got to thinking... I wanted to paint designs on the fan-blades of Rune's new ceiling fan. I'd bought spray paints and was going to do a swirled pattern of pink, purple and blue. But when I sat down to draw the pattern out on the blades, I got a little carried away/creative/excited... and I ended up with a more detailed set of images.
I liked them a lot... but spray paints wouldn't do. So I looked at the acrylics and decided to grab a pack of brushes and the colors I needed.
Rune, in the cart, picked up each color as I tossed it in and said "What's this??"
So I explained "Those are paints."
"Paints? WHY?"
"Because I'm going to paint your fan."
"You're gonna paint my fan? Oooh..."
She played happily in the cart of course with ribbons and paints and such to arrange.

This morning I woke up to a hilarious ordeal. The kind that really challenges your parenting instincts.
I woke up and Rohan had gotten up with Rune a bit earlier... set her up a movie, then laid on the couch to rest a bit more... and apparently he dozed off and she.... got creative.

So you can imagine our bemused smiles and barely contained laughter when she came and got us, dragged us back to the bedroom and proudly  showed us this:

She explained, calmly, happily: "I painted the fan!" Then, grabbing the pink paint with a brush stuck into it, she went on to explain, "I tried to paint the handle but my brush is done." The bristles were worn off the brush completely. 

So the question was raised... how do we handle this? How can we possibly punish her for getting creative and doing something she thought was exactly what the paints were intended for?

Instead, we laughed. We laughed and smiled and congratulated her on her work. The last thing I would ever want to do is crush my child's creative tendencies. So we told her how much we loved the fan... And then we sat down and explained that paints are not something she is allowed to play with all alone and that she should get us if she wants to paint so we can help her. She was happy. We were happy. No harm done. The paint was water-solluable so it came out of the carpet easily where she'd dripped. 

So my lesson is learned: Don't leave the paints on the table even if they are still plastic sealed... it won't stop her. Water-solluable is your friend... And a pretty fan never hurt anyone.

But most of all: 

Anything you say to your toddler can and will be interpretted creatively given the chance!

I love my life!

Arsh

Respect is Earned

Healthy Parenting: Respect is Earned

by Arsiei Darksbane

(An article from my unpublished blog at www.healthyparentingway.com)

What is respect?
How can we gain our children's respect? How does respect make our lives easier? Respect among all members of a household equals harmony in the home. So realizing that respect can never be demanded, only earned, is a vital step in acquiring harmony in the household.

Parents: Get over yourselves.
One of the first things I had to do as a parent was learn to get over myself. What does this mean? We as parents can sometimes take ourselves too seriously. We forget what we are and who we are and where we came from and let the power of control over another person take us in the wrong direction. We don't mean to do this. It is a natural human tendency. However with proper education and a bit of self-control, we can learn to be a leader in our home rather than a dictator.  The first thing you have to do is remember being a child, how you were treated, how you reacted to it and what would have made it better. Remember the people in your life at your child's age, and remember which ones you liked and did not like. Did you obey the ones you liked better? Did you feel happier and more peaceful with the people you respected?

Don't let self-importance tear you down. You are a beautiful person to your child. If you want to remain beautiful in their hearts and minds, you must never let yourself feel more important than them. Their wishes, their hopes, their desires are every bit as important as yours. This means that their wishes, hopes and desires are also every bit as important as your work, your phone calls, your busy schedules! Never let yourself feel that you are greater than your child. You have strengths they do not yet have: Wisdom, experience, knowledge. They also have strengths that you do not have anymore: innocence, imagination, freedom. If you're lucky, you haven't lost these traits entirely, but if you look deeply you will realize your child has a wisdom you have lost to some degree. Being carefree and dreaming big is a power all of its own.
So first, respect your child for who and what they are. They are a beautiful individual, full of lessons for you as well. So respect them and guide them and love them. Now the next step...

Be Respectable
Be careful when you go to define that word. "Respectable" picked up a social standard in and around the Renaissance and it gained force through the Victorian age and onward. People have taken a set of social statistics and deemed that "Respectable" and those types of terms tend to stick in our minds... However don't be fooled. What is respectable to your children?
For me it was a grandfather. He was kind, peaceful, patient and funny. Most of all of the things that made him respectable however was this: He treated me like a person of equal worth. I remember this man as the one I respected more than anyone in my childhood years because of his actions. He talked softly to me, listened intently, cared about the content of my thoughts, remembered what I'd said, acted upon his promises, and taught me the joy of making other people happy. I never respected anyone as much as my grandfather in my childhood. So when I became a parent, my first promise to myself was this: I will train myself to raise my child like my grandfather raised me. I wanted to be respected by my child like my grandfather was respected by me, but mostly I wanted my child to be as happy with me and as enchanted by me as I was by my grandfather.

When my parents or my grandmother wanted to punish me, they'd yell, spank me, set me in a corner, take something away or ground me. I remember their punishments making me angry. I remember hating their actions and feeling they were not such great people at the time. It didn't discourage me from doing what I'd done wrong. It discouraged me from showing them my actions, from trusting them.
When my grandfather saw me acting out, he would never yell or spank me or take things away. He would look at me with sad eyes, acknowledge what I just did by telling me gently that what I did was wrong, and then shake his head in disappointment and walk away, leaving me to think. I respected him deeply... and so his disappointment was devastating to me. I would cry. I would break down and cry because I knew what I had done was wrong. Then I would think about what I had done, ask myself what I could do better, go and talk with my grandfather and get his help in understanding... In the end, I would know better than to repeat this misdeed. I would avoid it because I truly did not want to be a bad person, and I wanted my grandfather to respect me. I trusted that he could teach me to be a good person, where I did not trust my parents or my grandmother. Respect is key to a harmonious relationship with a child. Respect will allow you to guide a child gently and they will love you for being who you are.

Never Try to Force It
The worst mistakes my father always made in trying to make me behave were losing his temper and trying to force respect. He would demand it verbally. He would insist that I respect him because he was the parent and I was the child and that meant I had to respect him. This made me hate him. He was trying to force my emotions. He was trying to make me believe in something I did not believe in. He was hurting me. While he never understood that, he was forcing me to respect him less, not more. Be careful never to make the mistake of demanding respect from your children. You'll find that whether you try to demand respect or not, the respect you actually get will  never depend upon your empty threats or ill-tempered demands, but rather upon your performance as a parent. This is parenting discipline at its most basic, but it is a fundamental element in healthy parenting in general.
Good luck.


Arsh out.

Parenting Discipline

Parenting Discipline
A term I often use that is just as often misunderstood is "Parenting Discipline" .
I figured it was time to define this as I mean it.
When I say "Parenting Discipline" I'm not talking about disciplining your children. I'm talking about disciplining yourself. Why do you need disciplining? Well, let's start with what the word "discipline" actually means.  For that, we'll go to my favorite online dictionary: Dictionary.com:

dis·ci·pline

 [dis-uh-plin]  Show IPA noun, verb,-plined,-plin·ing.
–noun

1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.

2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.

3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.

4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.

5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.

6. a set or system of rules and regulations.

Okay so now we'll put this into context with our topic:

1. Training to act in accordance with the rules:

Whose rules? YOUR rules. But why do you need training to act in accordance with your own rules?

Have you ever seen a mother trying desperately to get her child to agree to put a toy back on the shelf? How often does the parent win this battle? What is wrong with this scene?

The parent is failing to act in accordance with her own rules! It is the parent's place to decide which items are purchased in a store and thus, the parent should have her own rules for deciding what is bought and what is not. So when the child demands an item that the parent does not agree to purchase, the parent must act in accordance with her own rules and stick to her own reasoning.

The alternative? Bending to the will of the child.

This is unacceptable behavior from a parent because it leads to constant behavioral distortions as the child begins to wrest power from the adult. Now the child, who needs your guidance and discipline of her own, has taken the wheel and will quickly drive the family into chaos. If you do not discipline yourself to stick to your own rules and your own decisions, you are not properly training your child; you're letting her train you.

2. Activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill:

So how do you train to be a good parent? That depends on how hard you find it to stick to your guns in the first place. Do you have trouble when your little one gives you a sweet face and puppy eyes? Then you need to train yourself to hold to your own rules better. How can you do this? For one, you can agree with your spouse to help each other remember to hold to your rules. If you're a single parent, I understand this isn't an option, but being a single parent is tough any way you look at it. You just have to keep on telling yourself absolutely that the better you hold to your virtues, the better your child's life will be in the end, even if it's not easy to keep it up right now. Honestly? Meditation helps improve your willpower and concentration. It also helps with the cycle of Healthy Parenting: Patience, Acceptance and Harmony. So if you find that you have trouble holding to your own rules, try training yourself to be more willful and assertive. I recommend meditation and Yoga or T'ai Chi.

3. Punishment inflicted by way of correction and training:

In truth, punishment was never an original definition for discipline. We arrived at this meaning of the word through social usage of the word which comes from a Latin root discipulus, which means "student or pupil" and which relates quite directly to "learning". Over time, the meaning of the word has morphed through use in our society, coming to mean training and a quality of character in which a person has been well-trained, and finally to mean "punishment" which bares no resemblance to the original meaning of the word. It is important when we think of discipline that we remember the original meaning of the word and do not assign merit to punishment which is beyond that which is due. We have all heard phrases of ancient wisdom which instruct us regarding "discipline" and our children... but have we taken those words of wisdom completely incorrectly, defining "discipline" as punishment rather than guidance?

4. The rigor or training effect of experience, adversity:

This is closer to our meaning when we consider that discipline means "guidance, teaching, learning" and not "punishment". So what does this say about us as parents? Experience and adversity lead us to being properly trained. That is, experience and adversity will guide us to being better parents. Well that makes sense, doesn't it? In time, we will all get better at what we're doing, but only if we're headed in the right direction to begin with!

5. Behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control:

So good parenting discipline means you have taught yourself to behave in accord with your own rules of conduct. You have learned to maintain this behavior and order by training and control.

6. A set or system of rules and regulations:

Every parent needs one. This does not mean you have to have it all figured out ahead of time. If you do, I can only say, "Wow!". What this means is that you need to set up systems for yourself as the need arises so that you have a framework of behavior to fall into when times get tough. This is very much what I was doing when I set up defined parameters for my little one's nutrition before birth. This system adapted over time as she grew, but I always held to the system when I had to make a tough choice and wanted to make sure I didn't buckle under the pressure and hurt her in the long run by doing so! The first time we went to the store and she begged for a toy, we realized it was time to make a system for handling toy purchases so we could react properly every time. We didn't have that one figured out ahead of time, so we dealt with it as best as we could that one time, then discussed it and decided how to handle future actions. This will be a system of systems. In the end you will adapt it over and over again as new needs arise. And that is just fine.

Disciplining yourself (Remember: Guiding, or teaching yourself!) on how to handle these affairs will make for smoother sailing in the long run.

Parenting Discipline is fundamental to healthy parenting!

So when I talk about parenting discipline, remember that I'm not talking about how you handle your children, but rather, how you handle yourself!

Good luck!

Arsh

My Top Five Favorites

This is just to tell some of you a little more about me.

My Top Five Favorite Movies:

• Avatar
• Fight Club
• Moulin Rouge
• Stardust
• Serenity

My Top Five Favorite Bands:

• Vast
• Disturbed
• A Perfect Circle
• Sequentia
• Rammstein

My Top Five Favorite Songs:

• "Temptation" by Vast
• "Dead Girl" By Acid Bath
• "Remember" by Disturbed
• "3 Libras" by A Perfect Circle
• "Forever" by Papa Roach

My Top Five Favorite Actors:

• Johnny Depp
• Alan Rickman
• Sean Connery
• Anthony Hopkins
• Christopher Walkin (bite me)

My Top Five Favorite Actresses:

• Helena Bonham Carter
• Nicole Kidman
• Megan Fox (Fuck you. She's hot...)
• Summer Glau
• Michele Rodriguez (Even though seeing her in a movie automatically labels that character as "going to die" :( Which always sucks).

My Top Five Favorite Authors:

• Jim Butcher
• Kelly McCullough
• R.A. Salvatore
• J.R.R. Tolkein
• Edred Thorsson (A large part of my collection is non-fiction c_c)

My Top Five Favorite Books (or series):

• The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher
• Web Mage (series) by Kelly McCullough
• The Codex Alera by Jim Butcher
• The Dark Elf Trilogy by R.A. Salvatore
• The Stone Prince by Fionna Patton (because it's gay and awesome. So bite me.)

My Top Five Favorite Artists:

• John Su
• Feimo
• Len-Yan
• Vyrl
• Page Sherman  

My Top Five Favorite Works of Art:

W..what just 5?? O_O Are you insane?

(Arsh, you wrote the questions. Just pick some art you like.) 

...omg... well here's a few. c____c

(Please click the links for the artist's full posted pic. I'm just posting thumbs so you can get an idea of which ones you like to see bigger. All credit is given to the artists who created these works!)

Butterfly Precipice by Len-Yan

Sadness by Len-Yan

Better Than Chocolate by Len-Yan

Rock'n'Roll Quee...ing by Len-Yan

Rat Prince by Len-Yan

The Workstation 2 by Jujika 

The Naiads by Damascus5

Nocturne by Blackeri

Dynasty Declining by Feimo

Boundary by Feimo

Lucifer by Feimo

Hollow Jacks by JohnSu

Home and the Fairies by Zancan

Nine of Spades by Mincedniku

A Touch of Magic by Luches

Moment of Life and Beauty by Syrrhaal

The Color of Our Love by Me-Jane

Harpy Nest by Aikurisu

...

I guess that's all for now.

As a huge important note... if you are any of the artists portrayed above and you don't want your work featured here, please just email me at arsieiuni at gmail.com and I'll be happy to remove them.

I only posted them here to let the world know how beautiful your work is, and I have done my best to fully credit and attribute these works to you, the artist, and only you. Still, if you'd rather I not feature them here, I'll happily remove them at your request, in greatest respect.

-------

So maybe this gives all of you who read my blog a better idea of who I am. 

I hope so.

Arsh 

Now Presenting the Amazing Coconut Oil!

        Let's talk today about Coconut Oil!                   

Wait! Don't leave... seriously you're going to wanna hear this.

Coconut oil is a really useful thing to keep in your cabinet. You can find it at the grocery store (even Wal-mart) in the oil section. It comes in a plastic jar usually, more like Crisco. (I had a hard time finding it the first time, so now you know what to look for.)

Coconut oil is FANTASTIC! It is a) good for your health in a huge number of ways b) better for your diet than other oils and c) tasty! on top of which it gives you ENERGY!

So let's explore the benefits of Coconut Oil.

• Coconut oil is high in saturated fat. Wait what? That's right! But these are not bad saturated fats like the ones that cause heart problems. These are medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) whih are medium-chain fatty acids (MCFA). The saturated fats you want to avoid are LCFAs or long-chain fatty acids. 

• So why do you care about all these letters? Because MCFAs actually lower the risk of heart disease AND atherosclerosis and there's not many foods that contain significant amounts of MCFA! But one that does contain significant amounts of MCFAs is... Coconut oil! (Palm Kernel oils are another great source!)

• Additionally, Coconut oil is a good source of natural fiber, vitamines and nutrients. 

But why would the medical industry not TELL us this?

OMG! Realization time: The medical industry isn't here to help you. 

They are here for ONE reason: $$$

If you don't believe that... go read up on www.cancure.org and realize there is an active WORKING CURE for cancer that has been around for decades that the medical industry in this country PUSHED OUT and got banned because it was not an expensive enough procedure. In fact, the people who developed this cure with an 80% working cure rate, lost their lisences. They are now working from a facility just south of the border in Mexico. 

But back from that...

COCONUT OIL!

What can it do for you?

• It is great for your digestive system, aiding in absorption of fat soluble vitamins, minerals and amino acids (which means preventing various stomach and digestion related problems such as IBS.). It also reduces the symptoms of diabetes and can reduce your risk of developing diabetes. On top of that, it has antimicrobial power that helps dealing with bacteria, fungi and parasites that cause indigestion. Coconut oil is high in anti-oxidants which help protect the body from free radicals and prevent degenerative diseases and premature aging. It is GREAT for your heart, containing about 50% lauric acid which prevents various heart related problems such as high LDL cholesterol levels (the kind you want to avoid) and high blood pressure.

• Coconut oil is also anti-fungal, anti-viral, and anti-bacterial. It kills viruses that have a lipid (fatty) coating such as herpes, HIV, hepatitis C, influenza and mononucleosis. It's not a cure for these things, but helps prevent and fight against them. 

• On top of all of that Coconut oil BOOSTS YOUR ENERGY!                                                  Forget Monsters and Coffee! Coconut oil boosts your energy levels NATURALLY while increasing your endurance. This is because your body does not store the energy from coconut oil like other fats. Instead, it actually breaks down much quicker inside the liver and is used like a carbohydrate, burning up for energy quickly! It also increases your metabolism which helps with weight loss! 

Now that we've talked about the great ways you can ingest Coconut Oil, Let's also see how it feels on the outside. :3

• Coconut oil is GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN!                                                                                  Rub it on in place of a massage oil and enjoy the best moisturizing effect. Use it in place of a moisurizer or lotion. It is similar to mineral oil only it does not have any chance of having adverse side effects on your skin. Coconut oil can help treate psoriasis, dermatitis, eczema and other skin problems. (Ever seen coconut oil soap? Think about it!)

• Here's a neat tip you won't find on most blogs: Coconut oil is THE BEST when it comes to sexual lubricant. I kid you not! Don't freak out! It is SO good for your skin and it is the best feeling lubricant you'll ever try. It feels so much more natural than any store-bought lube and it works better and doesn't dry out quickly. (In fact, it takes a really long time for it to dry out!) It is totally safe to use down there and in fact, most women who use it report a decrease in yeast infections!                          I will be completely honest and say I normally have a lot of trouble with sex in that ever since I gave birth I have had like ZERO natural lubricant which really sucks when you want to get it on... Normal lubricants dry out pretty quick and really don't help that much. I started using coconut oil recently and it has been the BEST sexual lubricant ever! It stays comfy the whole time and I don't even have to reapply it between go's :3 That's how awesome it is. Seriously. 

• Coconut oil helps in removing stress! A forehead massage with your fingertips dipped in coconut oil will help remove mental fatigue!

• Because of its anti-inflammatory effect, coconut oil is great for sore muscles, strains and bruises! Rub some in to speed the healing effects!

• Your hair would love you for trying coconut oil in place of your conditioner! Coconut oil has some of the best natural nutrients your hair needs. It promotes healthy hair providing a shiney complexion. Regularly massaging your head with coconut oil will help relieve dandruf, lice, and lice eggs, even if your scalp is dry. It acts as an excellent shampoo and conditioner and helps regrowth of damaged hair. It also provides the essential proteins required for nourishing damaged hair. Through out those V05 Hot Oil treatments and just rub some coconut oil through your hair and toss it up in a towel. 

• If all that wasn't good enough, coconut oil can bring relief to some bug bites due to its anti-inflamatory qualities and healing factors. 

• It even works as a mosquito repellant! Just eating it or using it as a shampoo or face cream will ward off annoying insects!

So considering that half your body likes the idea of coconut oil... why are you still reading this? Go get yourself a jar of it and try some of this out! You will LOVE the taste in place of butter on toast (just scrape a tiny amount over your toast instead of butter before putting it in the toaster or afterward if you like your toast crispier) or especially if you like fried eggs. (Just put a little coconut oil in the skillet and melt it then pour your eggs in like you would with melted butter. Its SO good for fried eggs.)

My favorite recipe with coconut oil is cheesey egg toast. :3

Just make toast, cook egg whites in coconut oil (fry them) and then put the eggs on top of the toast, top it with a slice of cheese and set the toast back in the skillet for a moment to melt the cheese and let the toast absorb some of the remaining coconut oil. (You don't want enough left in the pan to make the bread soggy, just a fine coating.) It's SO GOOD and gives you TONS of energy for breakfast! :3

I have found that coconut oil works as a natural laxative (fast acting! Seriously!). If you REALLY need to go, down a tabelspoon of coconut oil. Wait a few minutes. c_c

I hope you give it a try! You'll love it on your skin and in your food. :3

Arsh

The Mitsumata Game Project: Come One, Come All!

I find this interesting. Now that I'm heading down the path to being a game artist, finding people actually working in the industry has been fascinating to me. I just happened to stumble upon this group at Deviant Art and won a sketch commission from them. They seem really fantastic and their story sounds interesting. I just thought I would share them with the rest of you. :3

The Mitsumata Game Project: Come One, Come All!: "Welcome to the Kin-Ou Games development blog! Kin-Ou Games is a budding visual novel company sort of bugger that is full steam ahead on it..."

The plot is different from anything I've heard before. I'm honestly interested in the game now. I hope they get this whole thing together and manage to create their project!

Cardboard Box Bed for the Homeless

THIS is the coolest anything ever.

That is all.
I will post a real blog tomorrow.
But I wanted to share that. Because YEAH! OMG isn't that so cool?
I think it's a great idea and what the creator of it said... if the governments would distribute these to the homeless it'd be cheap and so much better for them. That'd be so nice...

But yeah. Just had to share. ;3 See you guys tomorrow!

Stupid Me

Solved two birds with one screwdriver. 

Wait, what? Yes you heard me.

I was looking for my camera's battery charger. I have a Kodak camera so it's one of these wall chargers that you put the rechargeable battery pack into. A few weeks back I decided to move a bookshelf from one side of the room to the other. In doing so, I covered the outlet I usually use to charge my camera battery. It's also where I plug my living room AC in. It's not what you think! I didn't forget the camera charger behind the bookshelf! In fact, I moved it when I moved the bookshelf and stuck it in a much better location. 

The problem is that.. since that day, I apparently forgot where that better location was. I thought maybe I had stuck it in my electronics drawer in the utility room where I keep spare electronics, computer parts and spare adapters for my devices. I checked... nope not there. Well there's this drawer I keep on the side of my desk that I had started putting small things in like cables I connect my camera to my pc with, miniature lan cables for quick hookups, charger for my cell phone... stuff I use more often. Well I had previously kept those things in a little glass jewel container on a small bookshelf near my desk but I moved them to the drawer recently when I broke that container. 

So I ended up checking the jewel container, the drawer on my desk, the drawer in the utility room... nothing. I was so confused. Where did I put that blasted charger? I looked all over my desk then all over the living room, the bookshelves, the kitchen counter, the utility room, my bedroom (where I've probably never taken this charger at all) and many other places. I was so baffled. I sat down at the table and stared at my camera, having a chat with my mother in law meanwhile. Staring at my camera, I looked at the top where the case was popped open. I remembered how that happened...

Nearly 3 years ago, I was at Brangus in Jasper eating dinner. I had taken Rune (then, a newborn) to the bathroom to change her diaper. I had laid her on the diaper changing table and was cleaning her when she started smiling. I had my digital camera in her diaper bag because I took pics of her ALL THE TIME. So I grabbed for the camera to catch that smile... and... it slipped out of my hand. Just completely randomly, it did a backflip out of my fingers and took a magnificent swan dive onto the tiled floor. It popped the case open at the top where the two halves met and a little plastic clip had slid up from between the crack. I was so upset until I realized the camera still worked just fine... only the sound didn't work anymore. Oh well! I can take pictures without the shutter sound. No big deal! So I never worried about it. I couldn't fix it... so I just didn't care.

Recently however, I have been doing more and more handy things. I tried to fix my Xbox when it overheated. I managed to get it apart, put Arctic Silver on it (after proper cleaning) and get it back together. No problem! I felt so handy. It still didn't work. I had probably let it go too long honestly. But oh well. I learned some things along the way.

Thinking about that while sitting at the table with my mother in law, I suddenly jumped up and grabbed a screwdriver from the utility room, then sat back down at the table and started unscrewing the tiny screws around the case on my camera. I could see how the top was messed up and how it needed to go back together. So I pulled those screws and then pushed the plastic clip back down, prying the top apart a little with the screwdriver and pressing the piece in with my fingers. The problem was that the battery that ran the sound on the camera was not connecting with the contact and thus not powering the sound part of the camera (as best as I could tell). So finally it snapped into place and the case that had been weirdly open at the top for nearly 3 years closed. I replaced the screws, felt very proud of my now completely fine digital camera, and wondered why in 3 years I had never tried this before.

So at this point, I got up and walked over to my kitchen sink to wash a little grease off my fingers that had been on the handle of the screwdriver... and looked up and there was my battery charger... in the outlet behind the sink, waiting for a battery to charge. I laughed out loud. 

The moral of the story is... don't put your battery charger in some clever place like an outlet because you will forget it is there, and it just so happens that battery chargers don't stand out if they are somewhere sensible like an outlet. 

Alternative moral: I'm an idiot sometimes. But at least I fixed my camera. 

Hope you guys can get a laugh out of my antics. I know I did. 

Arsh out.

Reflections on Society and Brainwashing

A post from my archives, Originally posted in September, 2008.

Reflections on Society and Brainwashing...

I was thinking today about the words that we use to describe ourselves... the labels that make up our quick-and-easy understanding of ourselves, our faiths, our ways, our lives. I am thoroughly appalled by such things. We try to say that we are this or that, but do we really think about what we are calling ourselves? The problem with parents today (well, not to suggest there's only one of them... but...) is that they teach their children what they want their children to be. They don't simply show their children a path to life and help guide them along their own way. Therefore, today, I came to the realization that I have always heard the word "heathen" as a derogatory term, and I grew rather irritated.

In my grandmother's vocabulary, "heathen" was a word best used to describe an unruly child, a little brat that ran around screaming and making a fool of himself, who could not be controlled or contained. I was often berated "sit down and stop acting like a little heathen!". As a student of linguistics, it is something I often find myself doing... stopping and thinking about the meaning of a word as I understand it, and asking myself why I think that word means what I think it means. In many years of doing this, I have come to realize that my parents gave me a very incorrect idea of what many words mean. Their usage of a word as a common adage, or as slang, completely deteriorated my understanding of the word's true meaning. I never understood etymology at all until many years after I had departed my parent's home and come to realize that most other people didn't use many words in the same way as I had been taught to use them. I came to be very familiar with etymology.com as it was a resource which I constantly used to improve my comprehension of REAL language, slowly replacing the backwards, bigoted language choices of my family, my now very disconnected family.

I realize that this is not, however, merely an isolated crime of one "good Christian" family, who were truly unfit for raising children, but rather an epidemic of society, in many ways. The problem comes from first, a lack of understanding of the manner in which language is formed, and secondly, the fact that people seem to consistently forget the manner in which language is learned best: immersion. No matter how many vocabulary drills we do, books we read, or tests we take, we learn language, first, best and most retentively by simply being immersed in conversations. We hear a word. We understand it's meaning via context, and we absorb that word into our psyche as a label for a certain feeling, item, or phenomenon and then we reciprocate that cycle by repeating that word in order to express our own ideals when the situation arrives. Therefore, if the word was used incorrectly when we first encountered it, we are likely to continue the cycle of incorrect speech. But let's look at a deeper level of this issue... What happens when, instead of using a word incorrectly, we apply an esoteric value to a word that already embodies a concrete meaning?

Take the word "heathen" for example. The word literally refers to those who were never converted from the Old Ways into the Christian, Jewish or Muslim religions. Then, since Christians especially disliked those people who refused to convert to their faith, the word was slung around in a derogatory meaning by people who were speaking badly of heathens. They would talk about how horrible those barbaric, uncivilized heathens were. This spiraled on and on for generations. Now, centuries of this sort of talk later... the word carries a negative connotation, and many children, having NEVER heard the word "heathen" used correctly, understand only that a "heathen" is a bad thing. Now... consider what happens when they enter the real world on their own and encounter good heathen folk. Their first instinct is to be wary or dislike this person because they proclaim to be "heathen". Imagine that they wish to befriend this person, or even come to know of, accept, or adopt their ways... They have a mental barrier to break through. They have to undo years of programming enforced by their family, society, and the very language that they speak, in order to move on and grow past the beliefs of a past generation.

This is, to me, inherently very wrong.

Heathen, is, of course, not the only word with which I have noticed this phenomenon. I never even heard the word "pagan" until I first encountered the pagan community. By that time, I had encountered, of course, only Wiccans. Thus, when Wiccans told me that they were "pagan", I came to understand the words to be interchangeable, and did not know at all that there were pagans who were not Wiccans. It was a few years before, even while studying with members of the pagan community, I realized that pagan and Wiccan did not always go hand in hand. I met pagans who claimed to not be Wiccan... then I was confused for some time before I finally got the notion to look the word up and then, only then, did I find out what "pagan" meant. I was horrified, of course, to realize that a pagan was, originally, merely "country folk". The word carried the connotation of a "witch" or practicioner of the old ways, because the country folk were too far removed from the big city concentrations of large populations for the Christian ministries to massively force-convert them, and so they remained witches, heathens, and practioners of old faiths. Thus, pagan came to be equated directly to those who were not Christian, and THEN, with further Christian hatred applied to those not of their faith, pagans became "bad" folks to hang around. If I told my parents I was hanging out with Pagans, I was immediately branded as "going bad" and definitely worshipping the devil.

But am I really surprised? Can any of us be surprised while living in a world where words become taboo, lose all meaning, and remain taboo when no one even remembers what they mean? "Hell" is a curse word, though it refers to the underworld in many religions. "Ass" is a curse word though it refers to an animal. "Damn" is a curse word, though it refers to a condemnation. Yet "dork" is perfectly alright for grade-school children to say, even though it refers to the penis of a whale. Well by my book, that ought be quite alright to say, but no more alright to call someone in meanness than to call them an ass. What is the difference?

If I hate you and express it with known taboo words, is it really any worse than expressing it with clever substitutions for these words? In my heart, the taboo words are preferable. At least then, we're being honest. The intentions, and not the expressions, are what we should guide our children to handle carefully.

Arsh

Bloggity

Alright... thanks to the encouragement I received on Facebook over the idea of me starting to blog again...
I have decided to start over on this blog and talk about stuff relevant to me in the now.
I backed up my old posts but put them away... because a lot of that isn't really me anymore...
So rather than having to explain myself over the places where so much has changed... I am instead going to just start over here and write about the now.


So I'm going to post a few select posts here and there that are things I have written in the past on other blogs in order to bring them to this one location, but for the most part I'll just be adding new thoughts here.

What can you expect from this blog?

My thoughts on politics, religion, spirituality, beliefs, recipes, parenting, issues, ranting, video gaming, homeschooling, homeschool activities, roleplaying, MY ART, school, pseudo-intellectual crazy talk, promotion of my friends' blogs, funny shit I find around the web, occasional penis jokes, hot issues, honest, bluntness and a peculiar lack of concern for the norms of society, magical talk, disdain for stupidity, cynicism, optimism, rune-ology, lore, philosophy, silly energetic happiness, retarded writing styles (such as seeing ... after every other sentence), some considerable amount of hatred for the current state of affairs in America and other things I hate, love to those things worthy of my love, music I like, movies I like and dislike, anger at Kesha for having catchy lyrics but being such a... omfg... there isn't a word for her..., jokes repeated from when I made a clever at my Facebook or Deviantart, probably some pretty art I find around and want to share, unrestrained original thoughts regarding random things I find interesting, hot girls, pizza and free stuff that I find, offers and good ideas, tips tricks and everything you ever wanted to know about how much I love John Su, Penny Arcade strip links when it makes me lol, weird shit I find on the web, anger at the cancellation of the series Firefly, this emoticon that only I ever really use: c_c, and retarded fanlove for the ridiculously small number of actors that actually impress me.  And more!

So if any of this interests you, please stick around and love on my blog. c_c I'll love you for it.

More to come.

Arsh